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Thursday, June 24, 2010

My Mistake

A couple of months ago, I made a mistake that I am paying the price for. I had some friends over and I wanted to make sure I had a variety of food to serve. I had a healthy assortment of organic fruit and vegetables along with raw nuts and seeds. Some of my friends were very open to my raw food lifestyle while others require cheese, bread, and deli meats. being a good host, I made sure I had something for everyone to enjoy. The party was a success and I was happy that all were satisfied. The next night I was invited to a party. My friends know my lifestyle so I assumed there would be some fruit and veggies I could munch on. To my surprise, there was nothing and I hadn't had my usual cooler bag of raw foods for "just in case" situations. I was hungry and my first decision was to eat nothing. After a while, I became uncomfortable watching everyone eat while I just sat there. I then proceeded to the table to see if there was anything that I could possibly eat. I decided to eat some crackers. Now a few crackers may not seem harmful to a "normal person" , however, I am not a "normal person". Food and I have a dysfunctional past. For me, eating was like being addicted to drugs or alcohol. I am a food addict. Those few crackers at a party turned into a nightmare of which I regret. I started craving crackers and found myself buying them and eating some everyday. I justified them by buying organic, whole grain from the health food store. The next thing I know, I have graduated to bread. The result of my straying has now become a habit and is now a major problem. I have been 100% raw for four and a half years and I have been proud of my success. Now my train has derailed, I'm ashamed of myself, I have gained twelve pounds and my digestion is suffering. I'm not blaming my friend's party for my relapse. I made the decision to not take care of myself and now I need to make the decision to correct my mistake. Today is the day I turn it all back around. I am a 100% raw vegan and I am sticking to it.